


How to Forget Your Crush:  6 Steps (with Pictures)

by DadchiNSFW



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aromantic Suga, Lots of feelings with little sex, M/M, No Beta, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not the kind of porn you read to get off on, Porn with Feelings, Smut, There's not actually pictures, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, foreplay porn?, fronttage, maybe later - Freeform, more like warm up porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 11:22:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20024977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DadchiNSFW/pseuds/DadchiNSFW
Summary: Are you finding it hard to go an hour-- or even a minute-- without thinking of your crush? Their smile leaving you breathless-- and not in a good way? If you know they're just not interested, then constantly pining after them will only bring you more pain and heartache. Here's six easy steps to clear your head of that pesky heartbreaker.or: Daichi employs a wikihow approach to getting over one Sugawara Koushi





	How to Forget Your Crush:  6 Steps (with Pictures)

It wasn’t a big deal. Daichi was content, so the matter didn’t need addressed. He got to spend every day with Suga. Every morning he got to see him all teary-eyed and yawning, bedhead still sticking up in the back. He got to be the one to smooth it down on the walk to school, silver hairs like silk between his fingers. They traded bits of their bentos at lunch, same as any dating couple would. He made sure to pack extra pickled carrots for Suga to steal. They hung out after school for club activities. They walked home together. Daichi was content with their relationship as it stood, no need to worry about asking for more. 

Suga’s lips looked soft. Daichi swallowed the lump in his throat every time he realized it. But this was fine. He could ignore it. It isn’t like Suga would ever let him kiss them. Daichi reminded himself of the steep discrepancy between them: Suga could be a model, lithe limbs and pretty face. Daichi was perfectly average. They were on the same level as friends, but romantically? Suga would never consider him, at least not without an awkward ‘sorry, you’re not my type’ accompanied by a pitying smile.

That didn’t stop him from swiping a grain of rice from the corner of Suga’s mouth with his thumb. He discovered: Suga’s lips were plush, but slightly chapped. Daichi started carrying a spare chapstick in his bag.

Overall, his feelings were an inconvenience. Daichi never planned to act on them. He just had to wait them out. Meanwhile he would bask in Suga’s laughter. No harm, no foul.

Of course it was Tanaka that had to set the whole thing on fire.

“I don’t care what she looks like as long as she thinks I’m cool,” the second year rambled on one of his many monologues about his Dream Girl. “She has to wanna come to all our games to cheer me on. And I wanna treat her like a queen! Take her on the best dates. Beat up guys who look at her funny. Hey Daichi, maybe you could introduce me to someone on the girl’s team? Yui seems sweet on you.”

“Ah, Yui’s a friend. I wouldn’t want to take advantage of our friendship--”

“Oh come on, she turns bright red whenever you smile at her. It doesn’t have to be a date. Maybe a practice match? Yeah, our teams can practice together! Once she sees me play, I’m sure the right girl will fall for me!”

“I’ll see what I can do--”

“Yui, huh?” Suga was suddenly too close, coy smile studying Daichi’s expression. “Our very own Daichi has a crush?”

“That’s-- Yui’s just a friend--” he backpedaled until he tripped over a desk. He could feel his face burning.

“What about you, Suga,” Tanaka elbowed the third year with a devilish grin, “got your eye on a girl? Tell me now so I don’t steal her from you.”

Daichi braced himself. He didn’t want to hear the answer to this question. He really didn’t. “Tanaka, I don’t think--”

“No, not really. I know it sounds weird, but I’ve never had a real crush before. I’ve had brief infatuations on girls, yeah, but I’ve never been interested in dating. To be honest, just the thought of kissing someone makes me cringe.”

Daichi was sure of four things: 

  1. Suga was out of his league. 
  2. Suga was straight. 
  3. Suga wasn’t interested in romance. 
  4. Daichi has hopelessly in love with him.

He could feel himself crumbling as Tanaka brushed off their remarks, continuing on his own tangent. He came to realize that maybe he expected Suga to feel at least an inkling of something for him. Something that could be cultivated with time. But no, this crush was completely one sided.

Crush? Who was he kidding. Suga’s hair, his laugh, packing extra food and chapstick for his benefit: Daichi was in love. Bonafide, movie-grade, heart-pounding love. And he was the only one suffering for it.

He could feel the pressure building in his chest from trying to hold it in. They walked home together in comfortable conversation. He cursed how easy it was to talk to Suga, even in a state of internal turmoil. He’d never had that before. He couldn’t imagine finding it elsewhere. But he’d have to-- Suga would never love him back.

On the walk to school the next morning, Daichi’s hands shook as he smoothed the back of Suga’s hair. He almost didn’t, but Suga stood before him expectedly, waiting for him to perform the ritual. A weird thing for someone without a crush to do, Daichi thought bitterly as silver silk fell through his fingers.

By the time they arrived, bathed in Suga’s sleepy laughter, Daichi became resolved:

He would snuff out his feelings before they got any worse.

#  Step one: Let your emotions out.

Now that Daichi was aware of his feelings, as well as their one-sidedness, it felt like they were drowning him. Vine tangled in his ribcage, squeezing his lung and threatening to burst out of his throat. Romance novels wax poetic about how a loved one’s smile “takes your breath away.” Daichi was very sure that phrase was meant in wistful awe, not suffocation. 

He had to get them out.

He didn’t know who to tell. Tanaka would react too much. He was pretty sure the second year was right about Yui, too. It seemed cruel to talk about his crush to someone who had a crush on him. He needed someone trustworthy, attached but not too attached.

Asahi.

He spotted his fellow third year in the hall. “Asahi! Hey!”

The taller, more timid boy froze in place. “Daichi, good morning.” His smile was kind, warm, reassuring.

“Can we talk during lunch? Meet me in the clubroom?”

“Y-yeah, sure Daichi.”

He spent the first part of the day steeling himself, reciting his confession. He was scared. Once these things were spoken, he couldn’t take them back. They became real in the world. But the thought of holding them in filled Daichi with dread and loneliness. He couldn’t be alone in this, not anymore. He’d have to trust Asahi.

The taller boy was already in the room when Daichi arrived, anxiously fiddling with a pencil between his palms. Daichi took a seat across from him.

“Thank you, Asahi,” he smiled reassuringly, “I really needed to share this with someone and you’re the one I trust most.”

“Ah. Thank you, Daichi, but what about Suga?”

Daichi could already feel the color spreading on his cheeks. He wasn’t leaving this room with his dignity intact. “You see, it’s actually about Suga.” A deep breath. “You see, I have a cru--” he choked on the word, the lie of it, “I’m in love with Suga.”

Asahi gaped, nodding slowly as he processed.

“I thought it would be fine if I ignored it, but it keeps getting worse.” Great, now his voice was threatening to crack. He wasn’t about to _ cry _ over it. “I want to hold him when he cries. Kiss him when he smiles. Make him dinner. Go on dates-- I’m sure he’d be a delight in an aquarium. I want to know what his skin feels like on mine. I’m hopelessly in love with Sugawara Koushi.”

“W-well… have you told him?”

“There’s no point. He says he’s not interested in dating anyone-- especially not guys. I’d just be setting myself up for embarrassment.”

“Oh Daichi.” Asahi placed a firm hand on his captain’s shoulder.

“Sorry,” he rubbed his face, composing himself, “I just needed to tell someone.”

It felt good to get it out, though he could do without Asahi’s pitying looks every time he interacted with Suga.

#  Step two: Tackle your anger and bitterness

Suga was so free with him. He took Daichi’s affections for granted. Daichi brought extra of Suga’s favorites for lunch, which Suga happily sniped from his box. He carried around so much extra weight for Suga’s benefit. Suga never returned the favor.

Daichi let himself stew in all the ways he could tell Suga didn’t return his feelings, all of the ways Suga took advantage of them. He felt like a fool. It hurt. He took the dead weight out of his bag, determined to stop being such a push-over.

The following morning, Daichi was a little rougher than usual when Suga demanded his hair be fixed. “We’ll stop and get you a hairbrush on the way home from school,” Daichi mumbled.

“Will you brush it properly for me then?” That damn impish grin of his-- was he flirting? Did he know he was flirting? It wasn’t fair.

Daichi boiled in his thoughts of ‘I do everything for you but you do nothing but toy with me’ for the whole walk to school. Before they passed through the gate, Suga caught him by the elbow.

“Hold on, your collar’s crooked.” Suga turned him, carefully pressing Daichi’s collar across his neck. His tongue peeked out between his teeth as he focused on chasing away the wrinkle. “There! Perfect. Befitting our captain.”

His heart was pounding in his chest as Suga smiled up at him, hands still pressed to his chest. God, he was a lost cause.

#  Step three: Focus on your crush’s worst qualities

Daichi assured himself that Suga wasn’t all he dreamt up to be. He convinced himself that he was in love with a fantasy version of Suga-- someone he’d invented in his own head. He was determined to unveil the real Suga, to dash the fantasy.

Suga sucked at skin care. He picked at his skin, leaving little scars across his cheek. The only reason his complexion remained so smooth was because he was blessed with very little acne. The space between his eyebrows was dry and flakey. His eyes lit up like stars. His nose got oily after lunch. His laugh was loud and his teeth were so perfectly aligned...

Okay, so maybe staring at Suga’s face wasn’t going to help his case. 

“Daichi, here,” Suga was pushing his bento box towards him. “I noticed yesterday you didn’t pack as much, so I packed a little extra today. I hope you like egg.”

Egg was Daichi’s favorite part of the bento, how could Suga have not noticed that? He tried to remain aloof as he accepted the offered protein. He felt his resolve crumble as the food hit his tongue. 

“This is amazing.”

“Yeah, I actually really enjoy cooking. If you’re having trouble packing your lunch, maybe I can bring you one tomorrow?”

Daichi could cry.

#  Step four: Know you deserve better

The mirror mocked him. Yeah, Daichi decided, that step wasn’t going to happen. Maybe he deserved someone more on his level? He should really stick to only interacting with average people like himself. Leave the ethereal beings to themselves.

He attempted to erase the “datable” label he’d attached to Suga. Tried to change his perception to “other.” Suga was not his soulmate. They weren’t meant to be and that was that.

Daichi met with Yui to set up their co-ed match. The girl flustered at first, but found her comfort as the conversation turned to volleyball. He tried to figure out what she saw in him-- what anyone would see in him. He wasn’t outstandingly manly or handsome, not smart or brauney. There were so many ways he was outranked by his teammates in desirable traits. She left him with no hints.

Well into the heat of the game, Daichi noticed one of the girls started to wobble on her feet. He was about to call for a time out when she turned-- just a bit too quick-- and lost her balance. His body responded before he could think, diving under the net and intercepting her descent to the floor. It wasn’t the most graceful catch, but he saved her a concussion and probably a few teeth.

Yui escorted them to the nurse, staying with the girl and allowing Daichi to return to the gym. Suga greeted him with a grin-- playing dirty as usual.

“How’re you always so kind, Daichi? You always seem to know exactly what anyone needs.”

Kindness-- yes, he could go with that. Daichi was kind, selfless, always looking out for others. That was worth falling in love with. He resolved to at least put the spare chapstick back in his bag.

#  Step five: Getting Your Crush Out of Your Life

This was a taller order for Daichi. He wasn’t going to drop out of volleyball and change schools over this silly crush. That’d be foolish. But… university was fast approaching. He knew Suga was looking at Universities in Tokyo. Daichi decided to limit himself to something closer to home, to stay in Miyagi and help his mom with his younger siblings. That sounded reasonable. He’d avoid Suga without making his life revolve around Suga. 

He got into Sendai University. It was perfect-- far enough away that he could have his own apartment but close enough that he could come home on short notice, and most importantly: it was nowhere near Tokyo.

Graduation proceeded with many tears. Daichi felt relief as the stresses of high school lifted from his shoulders. His mom cried as she helped him move boxes into his apartment. He thanked her for her years of support as she left.

Life at university was looking bright. He hadn’t initiated a conversation with Suga since graduation, and thus no conversations had taken place. It was weird to realize how one-sided even their friendship had been. As soon as Daichi stopped making an effort, it crumbled away to nothing.

Sendai University was his fresh start-- a new beginning. His lungs were free from suffocating vines and his mind was free from

“Suga?”

Oh god, that silky silver hair caught the sunlight in a way only Suga’s would. There was no missing him on the sidewalk.

“Oh! Daichi, good morning!” His smile as bright as ever. 

Daichi felt his heart freeze in his chest. “What are you doing here? Didn’t you get into that school in Tokyo?”

“I did, but I chose to come here instead. It’s cheaper, closer to home, and look! You’re here! All the more reason to be here too. Have you looked into the volleyball team yet? We can go together.”

He was doomed. A lost cause. Cursed. Daichi smiled as they walked to their first class together.

#  Step six: Moving On?

So Suga was in his life to stay. Daichi was determined to move on regardless. He put some distance between them, prioritizing getting to know his new teammates and classmates. He called his mom almost every night. He threw himself into his studies. It felt good. He felt free. Suga’s smile still took his breath away, so he just avoided it as much as he could. Luckily university came with enough distractions.

That is until a couple of guys on the volleyball team invited them to a party. Daichi, wanting to remain respectful and studious, tried to opt out, but they weren’t having it. Two of their largest players showed up at his apartment and threatened to carry him away if he didn’t come willingly. And, well, maybe a little drunken fun was what Daichi needed at this point.

Except he hadn’t drank like this before. A beer or two with Tanaka, sure, but liquor hit different. Whatever was in this punch had Daichi’s head reeling.

He spotted Suga sitting on a couch, talking to one of the senior players who seemed to drown in every word. Daichi recognized the look. He wasn’t jealous. He was over it. He sat down next to Suga and started talking to the man on the opposite side of him. The conversation wasn’t important. What was important was Suga seeing him definitely not caring that he was talking up someone else. It was important that this stranger found him interesting and enticing-- Suga had to know that other people found Daichi Sawamura interesting and enticing.

What was not important was the way Suga’s hand fell across Daichi’s thigh. They still weren’t facing each other, each wrapped up in other conversations, but Suga’s fingers crawled their way towards the inseam in Daichi’s jeans. It wasn’t important that Daichi slung his arm across the back of the couch. His hand happened to fall on Suga’s shoulder, creating a barrier between him and the senior. _ Mine _.

It wasn’t important when Suga dismissed the senior with a smile, turning to Daichi and waving away his partner as well. It was completely forgettable how Suga’s lithe fingers caressed Daichi’s chin, guiding him until they were nose-to-nose. If you asked Daichi who closed the gap, he wouldn’t be able to recall. If you asked Suga whose tongue claimed the other’s first, he’d laugh and point at Daichi. But that wasn’t important.

Except that it was, and Daichi could barely remember any of it. He had done it. He’d kissed-- he’d _ made out with _ \-- his crush. After years of pining, it had finally happened. And he couldn’t remember anything more than that it had. He couldn’t remember what Suga had tasted like. Did he kiss him softly or passionately? For how long? Did they go any further? Daichi didn’t have the slightest idea.

God, he couldn’t imagine how much he had embarrassed himself. How was he supposed to look at Suga now? He had ruined it. Not that there was ever a chance, but there was an absolute zero chance of romance after making out drunk at a party. No great love story starts with “our first kiss was black out drunk at a party.”

He couldn’t bear to meet his own eyes in the mirror. Instead his gaze fell to his neckline. Purple love bites littered his collarbone and neck. _ Mine. _ He sighed because it was true-- he was Suga’s, always had been. It was Suga who would never be his.

He checked his phone before heading out the door. _ 49 new messages _, all from Suga. Daichi felt sick. He started with the most recent.

‘Meet me at the cafe before class. If you don’t show I’ll assume you’ve asphyxiated on your own sick and break down the door to your apartment.’

‘Just let me know you’re okay’

‘Daichi please answer’

‘Daichi’

‘You can’t leave me hanging like this.’

‘Don’t tell me you sent that and fell asleep’

The messages followed a similar pattern of pleading until Daichi got to the root of it all. The 50th message, sent from his own phone, read as follows:

‘There’s a thin line between making out with a friend at a party and making out with your crush. I’m trying to decide at what point I should tell you what side you fall on.’

Oh. Oh god.

Daichi read the message again. Studied the format to see if there was any way he _ hadn’t _ sent it. Any way of erasing it from the face of the earth, obliterating it from Suga’s mind. He tried everything to will it from existence. He spent enough time panicking over the device in his hand that the sudden pounding on his door made him throw it.

“Daichi I mean it! Open the door or I’ll break it down! You don’t want to lose your security deposit, do you?!”

He glanced out the window. He could jump for it. At this point he didn’t care if he survived the fall or not.

That’s a lie. He couldn’t do that to his mom.

With a deep breath, he unlocked the door. He didn’t even have to touch the doorknob before Suga was pushing him back into the room. He was wrapped in the smaller man’s embrace before he could get a word in.

“Oh thank god, you’re alive. You really had me scared there.”

“Suga… listen… I don’t remember sending you a text. Someone must’ve used my phone, I don’t know--”

“Then you shouldn’t have any trouble telling me what side I fall on, should you.” Suga held him by the shoulders, expression daring him to lie.

“You’re my friend, Suga, obvi--”

“Do you often have drunken makeout sessions with friends, Daichi? Ever get a little handsy with Tanaka?”

“No, but--”

“How long.”

“Two years, at least.”

“Oh my god, Daichi.” Suga released him to pace the room, landing on the couch after a bit of thought.

This was it. Daichi braced himself for the hard rejection. Luckily he’d played it out in his head often enough. Hopefully that reduced the sting. What Suga must think of him. He felt sick with himself.

“All these years,” Suga’s voice cracked. Guilt sunk in Daichi’s gut. He should have lied. “All these years, we could have been together. Instead I just accepted that I’d suffer on my own.”

“I’m so sorry, Su-- wait, what?”

“I always thought you’d end up with Yui, or maybe you were so focused on school and being captain that you didn’t have time for relationships.”

“You were the one who said they weren’t interested in romance!”

“Well you’re special, Daichi! I was interested in you! I couldn’t bare the thought of anyone else.”

Daichi took a deep breath, sitting on the couch next to Suga. His head was spinning. The hangover, he rationalized.

“I struggled for so long to get over you. I’ve loved you so much it hurt. I felt so alone in it… I thought going to seperate universities would help ease the feeling.”

“And I couldn’t bear the thought of going to a university without you,” Suga smiled, though his face was wet and flushed. “Every time I thought about facing the future without you next to me it seemed hopeless.”

“Dammit, Suga,” he leaned in, capturing those smiling lips with his own. This time, Daichi made sure to memorize everything about kissing Suga.

For the first time in a long time, he felt like he could breathe. The heat of Suga’s hands across his skin burned the vines from his ribs. Wandering, demanding hands rucked up his shirt. Suga sat back to remove the article, a satisfied smile on his lips as he surveyed his marks from the night before. As he removed his own shirt, Daichi spotted a few marks across Suga’s chest as well.

“Are those--”

“Yours, yes,” Suga pushed Daichi down on the couch, pinning him in place, “all yours.”

“Mine,” Daichi echoed as Suga started a trail of open-mouthed kisses down his chest. His fingers sought that silky silver hair, claiming it in fistfulls. 

Suga moaned low in his throat as he worked on the fly of Daichi’s pants. “Is this okay?”

“Yes, yes, definitely yes.”

“Let me know if you change your mind.” Though Daichi’s mind effectively stopped functioning as soon as Suga’s fingers wrapped around his length. “You’re as perfect as I imagined you.”

Daichi couldn’t help but whimper as Suga did what could validly be called “made love to” every inch of his cock. He explored the hardening member with reverence, with his fingers, kisses, and experimental licks. It was maddening. It was soft and oh-so gentle. 

He could see the glisten of pre-come smeared across Suga’s cheek and almost lost himself. He couldn’t let himself come like this. Sitting up, he brought Suga’s lips to his own. Those perfect, plush lips tasted of him. He kicked his jeans off the side of the couch, making quick work of Suga’s. 

The other man went plaint under his touch, giving himself over as Daichi allowed himself some greediness. He sucked the marks he had left the night before, reaffirming his claim over Suga’s pale shoulders. He delighted in the wail that ripped from Suga’s throat as his tongue tested a nipple. Wanting more of that sound, Daichi sucked the delicate skin between his teeth. Suga’s nails digging into his back had better have left marks. He would be proud of them later.

“Please, Daichi,” Suga whined, legs wrapping around Daichi’s, begging him closer.

“Suga, I don’t… I don’t own lube.”

“Always a good boy, aren’t you,” he bemoaned, “don’t you ever jerk off?”

“Not often. Every time I’d try, I’d end up thinking of you and--”

Suga responded by rutting up against him, legs trapping Daichi’s thighs and forcing their cocks together. He held Daichi’s face in the crook of his neck with a possessive hand in the man’s short hair. “It’s okay, I thought of you too,” he whispered into his ear. He was rewarded with another shot of pre-come easing the slide of their hips. The mess he felt collecting on his stomach just urged him on.

“You didn’t--” Daichi gasped as he hiked Suga’s knees up higher, thrusting harder into the new angle.

“I did. I thought of you just like this. The press of your chest holding me down. Letting yourself go, making a mess of me, making me yours.”

“I’ve wanted-- I’ve wanted to make you mine. Last night, I couldn’t stand to see you talking to someone else. You’re mine.”

“I’m yours. All yours. Make me yours, Daichi.” Suga’s voice came in sharp pants, pitch wavering. Daichi tightened his grip, biting down on Suga’s shoulder as he felt the man under him spill onto his own stomach.

Suga’s moans as Daichi continued to thrust against his over sensitive cock combined with the wet heat between them drove him over the edge. Daichi met his climax with a groan, claiming Suga as his own. He stilled with a whimper, Suga’s comforting embrace bringing him peace.

“If we stay like this, we’ll be glued together.”

“That’s not the worst idea,” Daichi grumbled, not wanting to move.

“Don’t be gross,” Suga laughed, “come on, let’s get a shower.”

Daichi relented, rolling off the couch and helping Suga to his feet. For the first time, Suga’s smile left him in wistful awe-- it took his breath away, but he didn’t feel suffocated. Daichi felt full of love.

And he never wanted to forget it.


End file.
